Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Women in the Military--Guest Post

My daughter, Sevilla, is an Air Force Captain and a woman who pilots helicopters. Over the years, she and I have had a number of interesting conversations; some of them about being a woman serving in the military. When I started this blogging-thing, I told her (and all my kids) that I'd welcome them posting on this blog if they had something they wanted to say. Sevilla has taken me up on the offer. Here's her guest post:

“Describe your military experience, please. What does it mean to be a woman in the military?” Blah. Blah. Blah….

I really hate it when people ask me things like that. “What does it mean to be a woman in the military?” What does it mean to be a man in the military? What does it mean to have brown eyes and be in the military? What does it mean to be short and in the military?

These are characteristics, not definitions. When I look back on my military service, I don’t want to think of myself as a “female warrior” or a “lady pilot”. I’m a pilot. I happen to be a woman, but I also happen to have brown eyes and a tattoo. Those aren’t germane to this discussion, why should my gender be?

And, of course, I know the answer.

The answer is that it’s germane because we as a society have made it germane. It’s almost like a type of voyeurism. We want to know about everyone’s dirty little secrets and experiences. It’s like it gives us a thrill to hear that someone has faced discrimination. For many of us, I suspect, it lets us feel vindicated. Holier than thou, perhaps, as if we’d never, ever contemplate judging someone on the basis of their gender, or race, or appearance, or whatever.

I also suspect that for most of us, that’s what we in the business call “Bullshit”. (Feel free to edit, Mom. Just leave in my parenthetical. smile.). If those things truly didn’t matter, then we wouldn’t have to ask questions like “so what does it mean to be a woman in the military?”.

See? Catch-22, like so much else. smile. But now that I’ve talked you in circles, let me answer the question I hate.

For me, being in the military means that I have to be competent. More than that, I have to be proficient. Now, acquiring competency/proficiency requires several other virtues. Self-discipline comes to mind, as does tenacity and personal responsibility. Without those, one cannot do what is necessary to become either competent or proficient at one’s job. And when being good at your job means you get to keep breathing…well…you see where I’m going here.

When it comes to being a woman in the military, being proficient is what matters. I’ve had long discussions with colleagues of both genders about how a woman should behave in order to be successful in the military. We’ve come up with lots of strategies, tips, tricks and the aforementioned bullshit, but it all boils down to that. If you are competent, if you are proficient…the rest matters less and less. Whether you choose to be “one of the guys” or a "girlie girl," it’s hard to argue with being good at your job.

As I said at her retirement ceremony, I learned that from my mother. There is no substitute for brute competence.

--Sevilla


Afterword:

As I was finishing this up, Mom sends me an email challenging me to answer in verse. Since I usually take what dares I am given, here goes:

Gender Study
By Sevilla

Don’t ask me
How to be a woman

As well ask me what it’s like
To speak
Or walk
Or fly.

It just is.

You do what you do
And if
You want to keep breathing

You learn to do it very,
Very
Well.

83 comments:

Buddy said...

Great post - love the "verse".
I miss you and am so proud of all you have done - you are a great person who I admire.

Tin Ma'am said...

I've been in the guard for 4 years, married to my active duty husband for 1.5. I think i've recieved more discrimination from women outside the military than anything else...

weird, no?

That line about "What's it mean to be a woman in the military?" is right on.

Cassandra said...

I've often remarked that I've experienced no discrimination as a woman in a male dominated technical field. The only thing anyone seems to care about is whether you can do your job.

If you can, you are treated with respect.

If you can't....

*shrug*

Being in the military does eliminate certain other issues that exist in the civilian world like pay parity, but as I've noted several times, when researchers correct for the documented reluctance of women to negotiate for increased pay and for actual hours worked, those differences disappear.

Facts are stubborn things.

Samantha West said...

Brute competence is a difficult thing to argue with and it does work very well in the civilian world as I can attest. Twenty-one years of self-employment with only the sky as my limit on income.

Fifteen years prior to that as an engineer in the semiconductor industry for a Japanese company who paid me at the top of the scale. It never crossed my mind that someone might not take me seriously.

vet66 said...

I'd fly with you anytime, anywhere, and under any circumstance!

Carry on..

MOM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Way to go Sevilla!! Very nicely said. My Dad always said it didn't matter what you did as long as you did the very best and became the very best you can be, It didn't matter to him way back in the dark ages that girls wanted to do other things than stay in the kitchen. We could be what ever we wanted and work at what ever we wanted. I put up hay with the best of them and dad made sure I got paid as much as the boys..
I would love to fly with you.
Love you kid and I love the verse have a copy of it...
Love Ya!!

Autny2 said...

Sevilla, you are so right on so many levels, although I am not military, I get the same thing in my job- not so much a woman, but as a "Grandma in the Security field" I guess they think my eyes aren't sharp enough anymore to monitor surveillence cameras! HA! Anyway, I am now, and have always been, proud of you! Keep up the good work! (You owe me a helicopter flight, remember? "C'mon, Aunty2, flying 10 feet over the ground at a high rate of speed.....nothing better!" Someday, I will take you up on it! Love you!

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