Small Towns and Newspapers

The place where I live is just one of the many things that has changed in my life in the last couple of years.  I left the big city and the beltway and moved to a very small town in the remote county where my mother grew up.  I love it here.  It's home.  It's beautiful.  It's a place where I can be myself and do the things that make me happy.  It's a place where people bond together into a community, and care about each other. 

It's a fantastic place to live for so many reasons; but it is small!  For example, it's so rural that we don't have mail carriers to deliver the mail.  Each small town has a post office and you have to stop there to get your mail.  Now this isn't all bad.  When you stop at the post office, you have a chance to run into a friend or acquaintance that you haven't seen in a while.  When you stop, you can chat with any number of people who have also stopped for their mail.  The post office is somewhat of a social center, particularly when the postmaster is as friendly as our postmistress.  In some ways, it's part of the heartbeat of our community.  You can also tell we're a small rural community by reading our newspaper.  It comes out weekly, and is delivered through the post office.  The newspaper carries stories of interest to the community; things like local sports updates, articles about the farmer's market, and ads from local government candidates, as well as tips on how to deal with an early frost.  Of course there are also the obligatory legal notices and a section of classified advertisements. 

Today, we went to the post office to get our mail.  As we were chatting with the postmistress, I gandered through the paper (to see if there was a story about the football team...there was).  Here's a classified ad that caught my eye, and caused me to laugh out loud:

PAY FOR MY DUI

(name deleted) is asking for donations to help pay his find for a DUI.  On August 21, he came down to see the Rodeo, he slept in the back of his truck at his nephew's sawmill.  The next morning, he couldn't resist doing a couple of doughnuts, the cops were called, and he got a DUI.  You can send donations to:  (address and phone number deleted).  Any help is appreciated.  Thanks.

I was so tickled that I was almost tempted to send a buck....almost, but not quite!

English to Militareese FAIL

Those of us who have been in the military often have a different language.  Some "militareese" is general to all the services, some is service-specific, and some of the specialized language is specific to a particular career field or job.  (For example, I've been taking a scuba diving class, and the floation vest we wear is called a BCD, short for "Bouancy Control Device."  After spending 23-years as an Air Force judge advocate, I have a hard time not thinking "Bad Conduct Discharge" whenever someone refers to their BCD.)  Often, "militareese" consists of acronyms, but sometimes it's just different meanings for everyday words.  For those who haven't been in the military, sometimes listening to spoken "militareese" can be difficult to follow.....it's like another language.  Sometimes, there is a lack of communication between those who are fluent in "militareese" often with hilarious results. 

AirForceWife, a blogger at "SpouseBuzz" has posted a very funny story about her "verbal faux pas" when speaking "militareese."  Jump over there and read it....you'll laugh out loud! 

OH MY!

This sounds like something I would do.....

Pink Boxer Boy's Job is Safe!

Did you see the story that ran a week or so ago? The one about the Army Specialist who was asleep when the Taliban attacked his outpost in Afghanistan? Apparently, he grabbed the most important gear (his helmet, body armor, and weapon) and jumped into the fight. What made the story interesting was that a NYTimes photographer just happened to be around, just happened to snap a picture of the firefight, and just happened to catch 19-year old Army Specialist Zachary Boyd fighting the Taliban wearing flip-flops and his pink "I love NY" boxer shorts. And of course, the picture just happened to end up on the front page of the NYTimes the next day. The best thing about the story (other than Specialist Boyd's courage and commitment) was Boyd and his parents' sense of humor about the whole thing. Boyd's dad told a TV reporter that this son called and told him he might be on the front of the NYTimes; but he didn't mention that he'd be there in his undies. Later Boyd told his dad that he might not have a job, if his boss (the Commander-in-Chief, President Obama) was unhappy with his attire.

Well....Specialist Boyd's job is safe. Secretary of Defense Gates has gone on the record saying that he wants to meet Specialist Boyd and shake his hand. According to Secretary Gates, "Any soldier who goes into battle against the Taliban in pink boxers and flip-flops has a special kind of courage." Secretary Gates also wondered how the Specialist Boyd's unique uniform impacted the Taliban. He mused, "just imagine seeing that: a guy in pink boxers and flip-flops has you in his crosshairs. What an incredible innovation in psychological warfare." Wait a minute.....there's a thought.....pink boxers as an issue item....might work.....well, on second thought....might not be such a great idea....

A Boss Who Knows How to Make Decisions

I received this in my email and thought it was sufficiently funny to post here:

LETTER FROM THE BOSS.....

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change; I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.